8 Seconds and an Emu

 

Not only was there a long list of characters who passed through Turkey Hop, but the list of animals was also just as long.  After the cow incident, I wasn't as fond of the animal as I once was.  Watching a cow go berserk while your grandfather goes flying will do that to a person.  Pigs, goats, cows, horses, chickens and the list goes on and on.   The worst animals Paw had were the geese.  I have never met a goose that wasn't a reincarnation of the devil!  Other hateful beasts included several "top knotted" chickens.  These things had fuzzy feathers on top of their heads, and their favorite hobby was to chase me and my cousins.  These chickens were smart, they had our number and whenever we stepped out of the house, they were on us.  One day I was at Granny's, and I wanted to go home.  I opened the front door and looked both ways.  I didn't see anything, so I felt like it was safe to head toward home.  Just as I made it off of the porch, those chickens came out of nowhere like a sling shot had fired them at me.  I started running, but with my short legs, I didn't go very far very fast!  I had almost made it home, but the chickens were hot on my trail.  Just as one rooster was stretching out his neck for a nice chunk of my leg, I leaped for the safety of my front door.  Mama had the door open because she had heard my blood curdling screams coming from up the hill.   One day, Granny fixed chicken and dumplings for lunch.  Funny thing is, I never saw those chickens again!  Go figure.  Some people came to visit, but ended up staying for months, weeks, or even years!  A man came to visit one day and ended up staying for many years!  His name was CK, and boy what an interesting fella he was.  He could tell some tall tales better than Steven King, and a majority of them were stories he had made up while reliving his adventures.  One of the best stories was the Crockafish encounter.  He said he was fishing in the Lincoln Memorial gazing pool, when he hooked a fish of a lifetime.  He said when he reeled it in, it looked like a fish mixed with a crocodile.  He said this thing was called a crockafish, and since it was endangered, he decided to put it back in the water.  This was just one of many tales he had to tell, and they all made us laugh.  One day Paw decided it would be a good idea to buy an animal he had never seen before.  He bought an Emu!  This thing was completely wild and uncontrollable, but he was determined to tame it.  On this one day, the Emu pulled one of its famous escaping tricks.  Paw yelled for CK to come and help him catch it!  The emu had made its way from the field down to the barbershop.  Paw was behind it, and CK was waiting to ambush it around the side of the shop.  When the emu turned the corner, CK grabbed hold.  This thing started kicking and bucking, with CK holding on like Tuff Hedeman riding a bull in the National Finals Rodeo.  CK didn't turn loose, and the emu never slowed down.  When CK was in deep thought, he would stick his tongue out of the corner of his mouth.  The more the emu jumped, the farther CK's tongue stuck out.  Last count the two of them made 3 solid laps around the barbershop!  Paw was trying to keep up and yelling "Turn loose of the thing or its going to kill you"!  CK was hard of hearing, so Paw's screams went unheard!  CK FINALLY turned loose as if God above said, "You idiot, I've given you every chance to let go, so I will MAKE you let go"!  CK turned loose of the emu and went tumbling through the grapevines.  The last we saw of the emu it was headed south with the look of joy in its eyes.  CK picked himself up, dusted off his overalls and said, "Boy that thing took me for a ride".  Paw was so mad, he had almost chewed his lips down to nothing.  CK not only ignored his instincts to turn loose of danger, but he had destroyed the grape vines and lost Paw's emu.  There was never another animal like that to live on Turkey Hop Hill, but we can still hear the sounds of CK making his 8 second ride on Ernie the Emu around the barbershop....